10 Signs
of an Unhealthy Relationship
© 2022 One Love Foundation
DEFLECTING RESPONSIBILITY
When someone constantly avoids accountability for their harmful behavior by making excuses or shifting blame. Your partner might use factors like alcohol, drugs, mental health issues, or difficult past experiences to justify their actions, refusing to take responsibility for how they treat you.
BETRAYAL
Betrayal happens when someone is disloyal or deceitful, breaking the trust in your relationship. This can include lying, hiding things, acting differently around others, or sharing your private information without consent. Betrayal undermines the foundation of trust and can be deeply damaging.
GUILTING
When someone unfairly shifts the responsibility for their actions or emotions onto you. Your partner might blame you for things beyond your control or make you feel obligated to keep them happy. This could include threats of self-harm if you don’t comply with their demands or pressuring you into uncomfortable situations by claiming it’s essential for them.
BELITTLING
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Belittling is when someone demeans or disrespects you, chipping away at your self-worth. This might include name-calling, harsh criticism, rude comments about people you care about, or even “jokes” that make you feel bad. Over time, these actions erode your confidence and can make you question your value.
VOLATILITY
Volatility refers to unpredictable, explosive reactions that leave you feeling scared or on edge. Your partner might overreact to small things, experience sudden mood swings, or lose control through yelling, threats, or even physical violence. This roller-coaster of emotions can make you feel like you’re constantly “walking on eggshells.”
SABOTAGE
Sabotage occurs when your partner deliberately undermines your success or well-being. This might include preventing you from pursuing personal goals, badmouthing you to others, spreading rumors, or threatening to reveal private information. Sabotage is designed to hold you back and diminish your sense of accomplishment.
POSSESSIVENESS
Possessiveness goes beyond simple jealousy—it involves attempts to control who you spend time with, what you do, or how you live your life. Your partner might accuse you of flirting or cheating, monitor your social media, or become uncomfortable when you interact with others. Though it might be framed as “protective,” this behavior restricts your independence and autonomy.
ISOLATION
Isolation is when someone tries to distance you from friends, family, or others who support you. It may start subtly, with requests to spend more time together, but can escalate into demands to cut off certain people or prioritize the relationship above everything else. Over time, isolation can leave you feeling dependent on your partner for validation and support.
MANIPULATION
Manipulation involves controlling your decisions or emotions through deceitful tactics. Your partner may use guilt, pressure, or passive-aggressive behavior to get their way. This can look like withholding affection until you agree with them, or subtly shaping your thoughts and feelings to align with their own desires.
INTENSITY
Intensity is marked by overwhelming emotions and extreme behavior. It’s a red flag if your partner pushes the relationship forward too quickly, demands constant attention, or becomes overly obsessive. This kind of behavior may feel flattering at first, but it often leads to control and suffocation as the relationship progresses.