10 Signs
of an Unhealthy Relationship
© 2022 One Love Foundation
DEFLECTING RESPONSIBILITY
It happens when a person repeatedly makes excuses for their toxic behaviors. They may blame you or other people for their actions. This often includes using alcohol, drugs, mental health problems, or past experiences (such as a previous unfaithful relationship or your parents' divorce) as an excuse.
BETRAYAL
It happens when people are disloyal or act intentionally dishonest. They might act like a different person when they are with other people or share private information about you with others. This may include lying, purposefully excluding you, being two-faced, or being deceived.
GUILTING
When someone holds you responsible for their actions or makes you feel like it's up to you to keep them happy. They blame you for things that are out of your control and that makes you feel bad. This includes threatening to harm themselves or others if you don't do what they say or if you stay away from them. They might pressure you to do things you're not comfortable with and make excuses by saying it's important to them or that it will hurt their feelings if you don't do it.
BELITTLING
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When someone does and says things to make you feel bad about yourself. This includes name-calling, making rude remarks about people you’re close with, or criticizing you. It’s also belittling when someone makes fun of you in a way that makes you feel bad, even if it’s played off as a joke. Over time, this can make you lose confidence in yourself or your abilities.
VOLATILITY
When someone has a really strong, unpredictable reaction that makes you feel scared, confused, or intimidated. An unstable person makes you feel like you need to be "tough" around them or they will have extreme reactions to small things. Their relationship It feels like a roller coaster that contains extreme highs and extreme lows. They may overreact to small things, have big mood swings, or lose control by becoming violent, yelling, or threatening.
SABOTAGE
When your partner intentionally damages your reputation, achievements and opportunities. Sabotage includes preventing you from doing things that are important to you. Behaviors such as badmouthing you behind your back, starting rumors, or threatening to share sensitive information about you are also a form of sabotage.
POSSESSIVENESS
A clear sign of possessiveness is when your partner expresses jealousy to the point that they try to control who you spend your time with and what you do with them. Although jealousy is an inherently human emotion, it can become toxic when it provokes an attempt at control or retaliation. This can manifest as discomfort when you receive a text or when you hang out with people who make you feel threatened, falsely accusing you of flirting with someone or cheating, or even going so far as to check all your social media. Possessiveness is sometimes interpreted as "protection" or as a way to show strong feelings for someone.
ISOLATION
When someone tries to keep you away from your friends, family or other people. This behavior usually starts slowly, with the person asking you to spend more time together, however it can escalate to demanding that you not see certain people. They will often ask you to choose between them or your friends, may insist that you spend all your time with them, or make you question your own opinions about your friends and family. When you find yourself in a situation of isolation, this can make you feel dependent on your partner's love and acceptance.
MANIPULATION
It happens when someone tries to control your decisions, actions or emotions. Manipulation is often difficult to identify, as it can be expressed subtly or in a passive-aggressive manner.
You know you are being manipulated if they are trying to convince you to do things you are not comfortable with, if they ignore you until you agree, or if they try to influence your feelings.
INTENSITY
When someone expresses very extreme feelings and exaggerated behavior that feels overwhelming. Things are getting too intense if you feel like someone is rushing the pace of the relationship (coming on too hard, too fast) and seems obsessive about wanting to see you and be in constant contact.