How to support a friend?
Supporting a friend in difficult times can be challenging. At Amor del Bueno, we understand the importance of being a strong support network. That's why we offer these tips to be an effective support during tough times
Your friend will never be responsible for the violence she experiences.
That's why it's important for you to know the cycle of violence.
Tension
Honeymoon
The aggressions pause and there's a promise that it won't happen again. Over time, these moments of remorse become shorter.
Explosion
Increased anger. Includes teasing and humiliation that directly impact self-esteem.
This is where the signs appear.
Cycle
of
violence
1
2
3
The accumulated tension explodes in a violent incident. It can manifest physically, verbally, or emotionally. The aggression momentarily releases the accumulated tension.
Remember that...
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Victims of abuse are not responsible.
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The use of violence will never be justified.
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These aggressions will repeat and escalate over time.
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You are not alone. Help from specialists is available.
5 Tips to Help a Friend
Know the signs.
You might be afraid to intervene because you don't want to lose them as a friend, you're worried about getting negative responses, or you simply don't know what to do.
Don't tag.
Instead of saying: 'I think your partner is being a jerk, why do you put up with it?'
Ask: 'How do you feel when Julio doesn't let you go to a party?
Know the resources.
While we can give advice, we can't force anything.
Seek help from an institution, counselor, school psychologist, or a trusted adult.
It will be more than one conversation
It's unlikely that the situation will change after one conversation, so be prepared to have more talks like this in the future.
Do not re-victimize, it's not a reprimand
Help your friend understand that what they are experiencing is not normal and it's not their fault.
Accompaniment is empowering, respectful, loving, and necessary
The Amor del Bueno Foundation offers you our comprehensive guide on how to support a friend during difficult times. You'll find valuable advice and important considerations for assisting someone who is contemplating leaving an abusive relationship.
Important note: This guide does not replace professional attention. If you or someone you know feels in danger, please call 911 immediately.